Jenn and Rob

Friday, September 14, 2007

Spandex is a Privilege Not a Right




In response to my last post, Robbie wanted to share an traumatizing experience. Please read. Your vision may depend on it.


Dear readers,


It has come to my attention lately of a public eye sore. I am now wearing an eye patch every day due to a recent visit to the gym. During what should have been an hour of kick butt endorphins and eye candy, I was confronted by a rather large women in spandex shorts and a sports bra. It's not so much the fact that she was working out that was troubling me, in fact, kudos to her for the attempt. What's bothering me is she insisted on back bends in spandex.


Spandex does not make you invisible, it not a super garment. It does not instantly make you go from a size 24 to a size 4. All it has done is compressed the fat and now there are clearly visible cottage cheese dimples. Similar to the little craters on the moon. In fact, I was waiting to see Neil Armstrong bouncing all over her chucky ass. Cottage cheese belongs in the fridge not in the gym.

-Robbie


Lesson learned today. CONSULT, CONSULT, CONSULT. Spandex is made for large innertubes, shiny chairs at the club, car seat covers, and bicycle seats. NOT for everyday wear. And especially not for those with too much junk in the trunk, more than 5% body fat, or if you are unable to see your feet.




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